


Toasting

by Brennah_K



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-07-17
Packaged: 2017-10-21 12:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brennah_K/pseuds/Brennah_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lex returns from the island, Clark returned from his own tribulations in Metropolis, shares a confession and a glass of wine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toasting

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted at Fanfiction.net

When Lex saw Clark sitting on the first mansion's first step, with a bottle of wine in hand, he knew that Clark had come to say goodbye. He wasn't certain why exactly he'd expected this since his return from the island, beyond the fact that Clark had seemed so withdrawn and shut off from everyone including his parents.

Lex hadn't pushed, knowing that sooner or later, Clark would tell him what had happened over the summer.

Now, in retrospect, as he watched Clark's stiffly resolute form waiting for him to climb out of the porsche, Lex realized that it may have been one of the increasingly more common times when his instincts had failed him. Clark's failure to show up with an interesting story in hand and his obvious withdrawal, coupled with Chloe and Lana's odd expressions whenever they watched Clark in the Talon, should have alerted him before this; but, at least he was being given this chance to rectify his earlier inattention.

"Hi, Clark. What do you have there?"

"Hmmm." Clark turned the wine curiously as though he hadn't even read the label when he bought it, hinting to Lex that it probably wasn't even the best that Smallville had to offer. Considering the Kent's recent financial problems, it was only to be expected. Still, Lex couldn't prevent his stomach from doing at least one flop at the thought of imbibing wine that probably cost less than coffee at the talon.

"Is that a bad…year?" Clark asked frowning at Lex's slight look of discomfort.

"What?"

"It's a Château Mouton Rothschild Pauillac, 1996. Is that a…a bad year?"

Lex couldn't credit what he was hearing and reached out for the bottle. Clark couldn't be reading that right, or there had been a mix up at the… "Clark, where did you get this?"

"In Metropolis, why? Did he scam me? He said this would be a very impressive … par… gift." Clark sounded almost petulant as he stared at the bottle.

Lex's head turned swiftly as he heard Clark's confirmation that the wine was a parting gift, but he couldn't stare at Clark's disappointed gaze very long when he had a puzzle in his hands.

"Clark, this is… how did you get…you shouldn't…" realizing that he was practically babbling, Lex turned back to answer Clark's questions.

Although he had seven bottles of that vintage in the wine cellar, his own investment in the wine had been, by his standards, minimal. By Clark's standards, even the purchase of this one bottle was an astronomical investment. As Lex thought about how long it must have taken Clark to set aside the $600.00 + tax, per bottle that the vintage was currently selling for, he stared at Clark with wonder.

"Clark, this is a very, extraordinary year, but, you shouldn't have… spent your money on this. You know I have a fully stocked wine cellar; we could have…" Lex caught himself just on the edge of turning Clark's growing smile into disappointment by noting that he already owned several bottles.

That would have been truly unkind after Clark had obviously gone to a great deal of trouble and expense to get him this.

"We could have found something almost this good." Lex smiled as Clark's eyes brightened at his appreciation.

"I wanted to, Lex. I really liked the salesman's description of it tasting like raspberries and chocolate. Anyway, it won't make up for any of the favors that I've asked you for, but maybe it can show you how much I appreciated them." Lex's smile diminished as he heard the second part of the question, saddened by the thought that Clark seemed to believe that he had to payback the favors — not understanding that Lex had considered them gifts from the beginning.

"Clark, you don't…"

His friend's answer came quickly interrupting Lex. "I know, I know, but I just wanted you to know how much I have appreciated your friendship."

Clark changed the subject before Lex could comment, "Let's go inside and open it, okay? Maybe you can come up with a fancy toast for it." Clark teased obviously trying to distract Lex.

Extending his hand to help Clark up, Lex grinned. "Oh, I have just the one in mind."

"Really?"

"Sure." Lex pushed through the doors, leading Clark to game room.

As he decanted the Pauillac, Lex studied Clark, who was studying the room as though he'd never seen it before and decided that Clark was trying to memorize it, as though he wouldn't see it again.

"So, Clark, when are you going?"

Clark's head snapped up so quickly that Lex was almost surprised when he didn't stumble backward. Smiling sheepishly as he nodded to himself, as though acknowledging 'the jig's up', Clark eyed the wine bottle speculatively before he answered, "Maybe in an hour or so."

Catching the meaning of Clark's comment immediately, Lex hesitated a moment –wondering whether he'd been placed at the end of the departure list out of friendship or convenience. Despite his usual restraint, Lex found himself asking, "So, how did I warrant the last goodbye?"

Shrugging uncomfortably, Clark mumbled, "First and last, Lex."

"What?" Lex stared at Clark, entirely unable to reconcile the concept that he was the only person that Clark would say goodbye to before leaving.

"Surely not, Clark, what about your parents?"

Silently, Clark shook his head and extended his hand for the wine glass.

"Clark, you can't just leave without giving them a cha…" The sadness in Clark's eyes interrupted Lex even before Clark's shook his head miserably and practically tossed back the wine.

"Easy Clark, this isn't a hard liquor. Wine is for savoring." Lex demonstrated with a slow smooth draw from the glass that was half sip and half suggestion … followed by an appreciative smile, that Clark couldn't help smiling back at.

"An excellent choice, I see what you mean about the chocolate and raspberries. This would go very nicely with a chocolate custard that Sirebella, a chateau owner in France, makes …"

"But, perhaps, we should go for something a bit harder first?" Lex asked after a pause. Not waiting for Clark's acceptance, Lex retrieved the cork and gently pressed it back into the bottle. Setting it aside, Lex reached into the bar and pulled out a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue and poured them both a snifter.

Before he'd resealed the decanter, Clark's snifter was emptied with ease and returned without embarrassment in a quiet request for seconds. He refilled Clark's snifter three more times before Clark looked at him with an expression that he had never seen Clark wear before – one of absolute truth. Or, really if Lex pinned it down, Clark was wearing a look that was almost frightening for its warning that the entire unblemished and uncontained truth was imminent regardless of the consequences. For the first time since their miraculous first meeting, Lex wanted to step back from his pursuit of Clark's truths – to give his friend space, to keep him here, to protect their friendship.

His own expression must have been equally telling to Clark because, instead of saying whatever he had intended to, Clark joined him at the bar, took the wine bottle and glass back with shaking hands, uncorked the bottle with a practiced flick of his thumb that took Lex by surprise, and practically sloshed the wine glass full to the rim. Anxiously, Lex watched him slowly and steadily emptying the glass of Paulliac, understanding that Clark was rethinking his admission until finally a blurred impression of Clark's eyes momentarily stared at him through the pear-shaped throat of the wine glass.

As they briefly studied him through the last trickles of wine in the emptying glass, Clark's eyes seemed almost immutably sad… as though Lex was the first to see a haunting melancholy that would shadow Clark from the moment he left the castle.

When the glass lowered though, Lex began to wonder about the illusionary qualities of the glass because Clark's hands had steadied and his eyes… seemed normal… perhaps a little vague from the alcohol, but otherwise normal. As he watched, Clark gently lowered both the bottle and glass back down. For a moment, Clark's eyes settled on the bottle as a dim smile crossed his lips.

"The wine is good; I'm glad."

Finally meeting Lex's eyes without the buffer of his wispy bangs or wine glass, Clark gazed at him with a loving expression that Lex found far more unsettling than Clark's recent absence, his stiff resolve to leave, his ready admission, or even his as yet unexplained sadness. Having decided, apparently, against his giving explanation, Clark smiled softly again and opened his arms inviting Lex into a brief hug.

"Drink it slow, okay?"

Feeling off balance, Lex simply nodded and stepping into the hug as he tried to figure out how he was going to make up for his earlier lapse and convince Clark to stay. He relaxed slightly as Clark lingered in the hug slightly longer than he expected. Whether from the alcohol or simply a desire for comfort, Clark's delay gave Lex a moment of hope that there was still a chance for him to convince Clark that he didn't need to leave and that there were better options, but that trace of hope faded quickly when he heard Clark sniffle softly and realized that the moisture that he had only just noticed seeping through shoulder of his silk shirt was probably from Clark's tears.

"Clark?"

"Clark, talk to me. Tell me what's going. Why are you leaving? Why haven't you told anyone else?" As anxious as he was about the consequences of discovering Clark's truths, it was entirely beyond Lex's ability to let Clark walk away in so much pain that it would bring him to tears.

Clark's head on his shoulder shifted slightly in what must have been a negative shake.

Lex thought 'Please, Clark, Talk to me.' so loudly that he was almost surprised when it didn't slip from his lips as he brought his hands around Clark's back to hold Clark right there—until he convinced him otherwise, and though he had seen Clark baling enough hay to know that Clark was easily stronger than he was, Lex also knew that Clark would never use enough strength to break his hold because he planned to hold on so tightly that Clark would have to hurt him to get free; and, Clark simply would not do that.

After a moment, it seemed that Lex was being proved right when Clark reacted to his grip by stepping back and expanding the gap between them caused by Clark's slight bend to hug Lex. Before Lex could begin the lecture that he was certain would convince his friend to stay, Clark lifted his head and did something so strangely tender that it took Lex's breath.

As Clark lifted his head, pulling partially away from the hug, instead of rubbing the tears from his eyes with his fingers or the back of his hand, Clark gently tilted his cheek against Lex's and softly slid back- effectively allowing Lex's cheek to brush his tears away then turning and repeating it for the other cheek. A side effect of the gesture was that Clark's lips barely skimmed Lex's with the first brush, on the second they paused so long that Lex could taste the passing flavor of chocolate on Clark's breath.

He wasn't entirely certain, but in that pause, Lex felt as though Clark had asked for permission, and though he had no idea how he had signaled his agreement, Lex supposed that he must have because the pause broke with Clark's lips pressing gently into his. Stunned into unquestioning compliance, Lex felt suddenly divided between rational observer and bewildered participant.

When Clark's lips parted softly, his own parted as well, and his mind raced with questions of whether the kiss was emerging from the wine or from Clark's true feelings.

When the tip of Clark's tongue, slowly, very slowly, pressed between the narrow part of his lips, Lex traced its movements against his lips, over his teeth, and gently deeper across his own tongue as he wondered whether Clark had ever guessed how he felt.

His mind wandered though as the kiss deepened and the explorations of Clark's tongue were frequently broken by murmured words that Lex's mind was setting aside (for later interpretation and understanding) so that he could concentrate on every sensation of the kiss.

Somewhere during the kiss, Lex realized that he had closed his eyes – probably to block out other extraneous distractions… again improving his focus on the kiss as his own tongue reached out to catalogue the retained taste of raspberries and whiskey on the underside of Clark's tongue. The taste was intensified as the vapors of their breath commingled convincing him that, although he would never have tried it himself Johnny Walker Blue and the Paulliac were very compatible … at least when tasted on a kiss.

But, his focus must have slipped somehow because he wasn't even aware that he had been gasping for breath until the kiss and Clark had moved away… probably to let him breath.

Drawing an experimental breath, as his mind again shared the focus with his body, Lex stifled the unexpected and inexplicable sob that came from some portion of his mind he hadn't been aware of until that moment.

Still, he didn't open his eyes to admit unnecessary distractions until it became obvious that Clark wasn't pressing forward again.

Clark probably wants me to take the next step, his mind supplied suddenly, even as that newly discovered portion of his mind negated that thought replaying Clark's murmured words.

"I didn't need to say goodbye to anyone else. They know… they've known for a long time that …"

"That…"

"I love you, Lex. But, I can't have you, and it hurts too much to live so close, knowing there can't ever be anything more…."

"I'm sorry…."

As their meaning finally became clear, Lex's eyes shot open to find that Clark had already left even though he could still feel the echoes of Clark's solid form in his finger tips. As tears trickled unnoticed down his cheek, Lex wished futilely that he had been aware enough to catalog those sensations as well.


End file.
